Dealing with Small Minds (help)

[dalthauser]

I've read some posts from my LJ friends regarding what appears to be a turn our country has taken. 

Primarily what I feel is over-the-top intolerence and scorn, from what is becoming a substantial section of our society, directed in various areas:

The financially disadvantaged (employed or unemployed)

People of middle eastern descent (whether they are of the Muslim faith or not)

Gay folks who want to marry

President Obama

I usually just roll my eyes when I experience this behavior on news sites and radio/tv; however, I find that I'm deeply affected when friends and family display this mindset. 

Some in my immediate family (father/brother) are virtually rabid when it comes to attacking Obama and liberals - and they seem to agree with the entire Palin/Limbaugh ideals.  I'm much more hurt by this than annoyed.  These people are my blood relatives - how is it that I'm related. How is it that I didn't notice this while I was being raised in the same house until for all those years?

Family hurts - maybe because I have no choice but to love them regardless.... I don't know.

Friends and in-laws are another story.  I'm trying to find a way to tolerate it from them (since isn't the lesson TOLERANCE....haha) - but honestly - my gut instinct is to toss them aside.  I have no patience for this type of thinking from anyone who I don't have to tolerate it from.  I need help with this because I can see it becoming an issue in the near future - and I don't want my husband to have to be in the middle should I decide to write off mutual friends or in-laws.

If anyone has some words of wisdom - I'm listening.

Comments

[tx-cronopio.livejournal.com]

Oh, so with you. Fortunately, I have only to deal with my father -- the rest of my family/friends are fairly like-minded. Well, most of 'em.

The only words of wisdom I have to offer are to keep everything decidedly non-political. If someone insists on bringing things up, just quietly say, "let's not talk about that."

However, all my manners go out the window on the internet. If you send me offensive internet shit about Obama, I will hand you your kidneys back on a plate. What? We all have our weaknesses :)

[eats-veggies.livejournal.com]

In real life this is the tactic I prefer as well. It's Facebook and emails where I get most of the most obnoxious stuff.

I've taken to replying to some in my family, but I've now decided I'm just going to block their emails - the only I thing I get from them is forwarded political stuff and chain mail anyway.

[sahlah.livejournal.com]

I've had to resort to tossing at least one person over just such views. It wasn't that the person held the views - but it was the unrelenting, unsubstantiated, unthinking re-voicing of everything the person ever heard on FOX news. I'd actually have a similar feeling towards a person that routinely parroted MSNBC too.

Apply critical thinking please.

You may recall this entry of mine. I now apply the wolf test... I'm careful what gets fed.

Be well and stay true to your heart. xoxo

[eats-veggies.livejournal.com]

I feel I'm very open minded to conservative views - even though I don't agree with then - provided they are part of a civil discussion and shared honestly (without half truths and outright lies sprinkled in).

I agree with you - there's no meeting in the middle I'm afraid, but we can try and respect each others' differences and "fight" fair. :-)

[minemouse.livejournal.com]

I can't believe the ugliness either. Were we smart people....huh, I mean liberals :P this ugly when GWB was in office?

The hate (and I don't think that is too strong of word) at poor, or Middle Eastern, or Hispanic or African-American or gay people is appalling. I see it at every turn, but people who seem to consider themselves nice people. I am trying to figure out how "nice" people can be filled with so much hate for anyone who isn't exactly like them.

I don't start conversations that I know will go down this road. When this starts in a situation where I can't leave (work) I pointedly don't participate. In such a democratic state it is amazing how often I feel like the token liberal.

My wicked side wants to go back to a few days of GWB's presidency and really let a couple have it. After what I have listened to this past year I have no clue why I held my tongue.

[joebanks.livejournal.com]

The thing that stikes me as most annoying is many of these persons constant need to reenforce their feelings; it's obsessive. "I don't like these people, doing that" over and over.

You aren't going to change anyone's opinion any more then your's is going to be changed. 'harry's family comes to mind, i feel if i'm on their turf, i keep my mouth shut and don't contradict them, i'm only with them a short while. Our opinions are known and generally, though not always, they keep their mouths shut at our place.

-an uneasy truce.

[eats-veggies.livejournal.com]

What I dislike the most is the half-truths and outright lies. I think some don't even bother to fact-check emails they get sent. They want to believe it - so they do (I guess it's less of an effort that way).

[cosmorama.livejournal.com]

Oh my what a relevant post. A relative of mine just posted this youtube link on facebook....

BREAKING NEWS! - Is Barack Obama Really A Saudi / Muslim "Plant" in the White House?

It's so hard not to react to such nonsense, but reacting will just lead to more arguements and I think to myself, do I really want to expend my energy on this? The answer most of the time is no, so I just ignore it.

Here's an article on how to hide from friends you don't like on facebook...
http://finance.yahoo.com/news/How-to-Hide-from-Friends-You-nytimes-3549740768.html?x=0

It tells you how to avoid them, without the awkwardness of unfriending them. lol.

[time-on-fire.livejournal.com]

thank you for posting this link about facebook. Do you know if they can tell you are hiding them by using the "who is blocking me?" apparatus?

[eats-veggies.livejournal.com]

You are awesome! - Thank you for that link, I bookmarked it.

[kabuldur.livejournal.com]

I have basically held my tongue with my parents (mostly my father), but they are changing over time. My father, going from a rabid racist, started having aboriginal or part Aboriginal friends about 20 years ago. My mother has never been racist - or sexist :P

[madamealexis.livejournal.com]

What people believe in is less important than how they treat you.

If they treat you well then they are worth keeping. If they don't treat you well then walk away if you can. I say if you can because for the most part you don't get a choice in who you have to work with but you can withdraw yourself from the conversation.

Every single one of us on the planet has an opinion or belief that someone else does not agree with. So we ourselves may have the same affect on someone else.

[eats-veggies.livejournal.com]

You and I don't agree on several things, and I love YOU!! :-)

[time-on-fire.livejournal.com]

How are our lives so parallel???

I'm too hurt right now to have any helpful comment (see my latest entry). We had a string of holiday get-togethers in which the N-bomb was dropped and it was so embarrassing for me for the Mr to hear that. I'm not sure how to react to those moments.

I completely understand where you are coming from.

[eats-veggies.livejournal.com]

I have a zero tolerance policy for the "N" word. I will stand up and be heard (and have) to tell someone what I think of their choice of racial slurs.

[time-on-fire.livejournal.com]

On a lighter note, do you know how hard it is to be a liberal?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3qgiNPVpSM

[eats-veggies.livejournal.com]

omg - how is it that I've not seen this guy before now? (did you see the "let's go get the buddhists" video?? lol)

Thanks for helping me put things in perspective :-)

I smell fear

[k2rider78.livejournal.com]

I have seen some unbelievable hatred thrown around and I think when the economy tanked it scared the sh*t out of people.

Now they look for someone, something to blame. And unfortunately they don't research all the facts and they run with whatever fans their fear.

Try to remain calm yourself, repeats facts and clarify. Repeat back to them so they can hear how they sound. Don't back down with facts. Now if talking with friends or family and they are extremely hateful remind them that YOU are not the enemy.
Suggest the take a deep breathe. I don't know what else to suggest.

Re: I smell fear

[eats-veggies.livejournal.com]

Very good advice my friend - thank you!

[bright-feather.livejournal.com]

I try very hard not to get into political discussions. It's hard here sometimes as this is a very rural area who feel that the President is not a citizen, is a Muslim and has ulterior motives for the country.

[siro-gravity.livejournal.com]

words of wisdom? no, not really...but man-o-man, do i identify with this post. i mean the immediate family part of it. my dad was terrible, my brother is worse. my mom at least tries.

i do not have a single friend who thinks like this. not a single friend who would bash gays or people from the middle east. they would not be friends, i guess.

i think you have the right to decide who will be your friend, and who won't be. you and your husband can also choose to have different friends. you and he could talk about this in private before anything hits the fan.